Series

And then what? The whole life is about compensations. Got an advance, bought film, chemistry. Printed the material. Submitted. Got another assignment. And that how the whole photographic life was. All of that only so that I could escape this megalopolis, this Moscow, which I can’t stand even today. Ran away to join the likes of me, unpretentious people. To be with them, and to take pictures. And when I would return, the only joy was to develop the film, to look at the result: this is it, this is the shot, a good shot. Print it, take it to the editor. I recall getting on the bus, and there someone was looking at the magazine spread, and a little farther another one, at the cover. And on the cover — my name, my picture. Bus stops, I get off. Joyful, happy. And the compensation, what is 3.6 Rubles (TN: about 7 USD now) per day? You spend all you get. You pack a 700ml jar, an immersion water heater, bread crackers, and off you go on another mission. That’s what Photography is. To see your pictures somewhere in someone’s hands, and to go away as far as possible. Met an acquaintance of mine, a photo editor, and he told me he bought an apartment after just 5 years of work. And what did I get? Some shoes, some suits, a bunch of camera lenses. That’s it! No car, no home — this is my Photography. What is there to love? Except maybe looking at my shots, the printing process, which is beautiful by itself, and seeing someone hold my pictures in their hands. And that’s it, there is nothing else. And what now? Nothing good. In the next life I won’t be a photographer for sure.